Английский юмор - анекдоты, шутки, смешные случаи

1 2 3 4 5 6

Jim: They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Ed: Why not?
Jim: They're long enough already!



Jim: My Uncle's got a wooden leg.
Ed: That's nothing. My Aunt has a wooden chest.



Q: What's the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
A: The first kisses the misses. The second misses the kisses.



Have you heard about the new bestseller that's just out? It's called "The Cannibal's Daughter" and was written by Henrietta Mann. Or how about the new book, "How I Got Rich Quick," by Robin Banks?



Did you hear about the fat lady that went on a diet, eating only coconuts and bananas? She didn't lose much weight, but man, could she climb trees!



Teacher: Where did John Hancock sign the Declaration of Independence?
Jim: At the bottom.



Q: Why did the orange stop rolling?
A: Because it ran out of juice.



Q: Why did the blonde put lipstick on her head?
A: So that she could make up her mind!



A bum approached me on the street and said, "Excuse me, sir, but I haven't had a bite in weeks." So, I took pity on him - I bit him.



Q: Mr. Green is a butcher. He is six feet tall, wears a size 10 shoe and a size 40 suit. What does he weigh?
A: Meat.

1 2 3 4 5 6